Tag: grief

Well hello again…….

On By oceangirl63In Uncategorized24 Comments

Where are your stories oceangirl, why aren’t you blogging, are you okay, Hey!, are you still around and other odd messages…..

I cannot believe my last post was June 2021! My absence it seems, has been conspicuous. I love writing my blog so I really don’t know why I haven’t blogged for such a long time. I did try on numerous occasions. It just didn’t come. It is as simple as that. Thank you for sending your messages. I am so appreciative of your care and concern x.

Now. To the task of catching up……..

The apex of privilege is that over the past few months I have ever so slowly learnt to give myself permission to just be. To lay in bed a little longer, to leave cat hair on the couch because it is after all my dear companions home too and to watch the night sky for what seems like hours because there is no reason for me to be inside watching TV except when Gardening Australia is on 🙂

I am no longer striving for unattainable perfection and I have set boundaries. No expectations, just gratitude.

Much has happened since my last post. There have been some life changes, good and difficult. Good people – such good people, happiness, sadness, inspired travel and more. My life is taking a gentler pace and I have let go of things that no longer serve me well.

My dear little gardening companion Zoe has passed. She made it to the wonderful age of 20 cat years which is the equivalent of 96 human years. Writing of her makes my heart turn to dust but then I remind myself that the grief felt for Zoe Clementine is born of love. Grief can be so varied and often it is not what we expect especially when it wraps around your heart like a fist. What an honour it was to have you as our lovely little companion for just over 14 years.

Zoe’s passing was gut wrenching but peaceful. Her little body was beginning to shut down and as much as it was heartbreaking, letting her go was the kindest thing. She went to sleep in my arms for the last time and for that privilege alone, we are grateful beyond words.

What a wonderful, tenacious, sweet, clever little cat she was. A great traveller and true adventurer along with being a voracious consumer of prawns and a lover of mature cheese. A delicate little cat with the biggest fighting spirit who adored being out in the enclosed vegie patch sunbathing regardless the temperature. Zoe was a little pocket rocket who had pretty much used up most of her 9 lives, she loved a chin rub and a gentle brushing and she loved nothing more than snuggling up. She could, when the mood took her, behave like a feline possessed, she could hold a grudge and she hated having her nail clipped. If cats had accents, Zoe’s would have certainly been French given her delicate features and jewel green eyes. She knew she was so loved and she will be missed for a very very long time……

The house is still a work in progress. More cracks appear in these old walls and the remaining ceiling of plaster and horse hair are sagging but I have a sturdy roof over my head. The garden is peaceful, lovely and continuing its transformation and the yields it offers up are fresh, nourishing and beautiful. The garden puts food on the table and fills vintage and hand-thrown pottery vases with beauty and that makes me happy.

Tom Tom and Boo (Thomas and George), those two wonderful furry beings are the best boys ever and love bugs personified, I became a vegan since my last blog post – I could never go vegan said every vegan before becoming vegan 🙂 and there has been some wonderful travel. All in all, everything is pretty okay in my little part of the world.

I don’t have it all figured out, I don’t think any of us are meant to but I noodle along regardless. Just one foot in front of the other and the path becomes more evident. I may not always know where I am going but no doubt I am getting to where I am meant to be.

None of us ever really know how the story will end but where was I in June 2021! Thats right. I was part way through writing about Robe…..x

The Brad Pitts of the cat world…..

On By oceangirl63In Uncategorized8 Comments

It has been 55 days since my last post. I don’t know what to say other than that! All good intentions, written of in a previous post, completely out the window.  I guess I feel a little burnt out.  Travel (two trips, one right on top of the other), the yard, the house and other things, things designed to induce a festering resentment if you let it, seem to have sapped not only my time but my energy.

There have been many days where I have just wanted to stay in bed…….. but I won’t. Perhaps I worry if I stop, even for a moment, I will be buried underneath it all.  In spite of this fatigue, which is a good tired mostly, I have been surprisingly productive.

Seven months ago the verge, an almost 50 metre long stretch of rubble, dirt and weeds looked like this…..

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Today it looks like this…..

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Ditto on the vegie patch…..

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My first cauliflower…..

Its early morning. The birds are just starting their day and the sun is beginning to rise. These early spring days are lovely in South Australia and although the air is a little cool this morning, I will just sit for a while in the vegie patch with the little cat for good company, sip a cup of pale green tea and re-charge.

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Spring sure suits you South Australia…..

There had been talk over the past month or so of adopting another cat. It was a difficult conversation (and decision) on my part as there is still a beholding that in doing so, I would be replacing Gus.

We still miss Gus and with the passing of time, it has not become any less difficult. Losing a dear companion is not an easy thing. For many, including myself, a passing results in an intense grief. That terrible moment of knowing they are gone then the lingering dark aftermath of a shattering despair so harsh it could break bones.

Whether animal or human companion, grief will undo you from within. I am acutely aware of how deeply Gus enriched our life with his beautiful gift of companionship, trust and love and there is great comfort in knowing Gus lived his best life. Perhaps the intense grief experienced in losing him was a result of that love and not just the circumstance of his death. Very possibly too, the grief felt in missing him means we were given the great privilege to experience such love and not many can say that.

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Our intent was to adopt from either the RSPCA or the AWL, both equally wonderful organisations who work tirelessly to improve the welfare of all animals. There are thousands of cats and kittens, puppies and dogs in desperate need of loving homes and this year to-date there have been 8,897 neglected and ‘unwanted’ animals cared for by the RSPCA in South Australia alone and just over 4,077 cases of cruelty being reported. Heartbreaking statistics!!

On one of the web sites, we saw these two handsome chaps, Enrique and Bane. An inseparable pair of older cats in desperate need of their forever home. More difficult conversations followed but we decided to take a drive (a long drive, mainly of silence) to the RSPCA shelter to spend some time with the boys and to also see if they were comfortable with us.

Shelters are notoriously difficult places to visit at the best of times. My heart always breaks for the animals as I know it can take weeks, months and sometimes years of waiting to find their forever home.

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Formerly known as Enrique and Bane, Thomas and George (aka Boo) now live with us. These two handsome boys, the Brad Pitts of the cat world, just fill my heart and their being here has made me realise happiness can abide even in the suffering of still missing another.

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Thomas…..

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George aka Boo…..

Very timid at first (their lives had not been easy nor kind ones) they are settling well. Both are deeply affectionate and gentle big cats and in just the short time since their adoption Sunday week, they have bought so much joy to our home.

They resided in the laundry for a good week with warm comfortable beds, toys, litter trays, food and water and all the love and attention they desired before being introduced to Zoe and their new surroundings. This confinement was not only to reduce theirs and Zoe’s stress, but to also control any outbreak of cat flu should it dare have reared its ugly head.

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The boys have been out of the laundry since Sunday afternoon and they have made themselves at home better than we anticipated. There have been growls and plenty of hissing, all from ‘little miss sassy pants’ Zoe 😊, but I am more than confident all will soon settle into a routine of harmonious living.  It just takes time, love, patience and kindness.

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Thomas…..

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Boo…..

There comes a time when we all finally get a chance to suck the poison out and spit it back from whence it came with a humility and grace far beyond what we believe we are capable of. These beautiful new companions and our sweet Zoe give us that opportunity every day and we cannot believe how lucky we are to have them as our family………..xx

*Adopt don’t shop

*No matter the age, colour, shape or size a rescue companion is the best companion

*ALWAYS have a voice for those who do not have one