What a week this has been in Australia. Our farmers are continuing to battle through horrific drought conditions, our cost of living is on a perpetual trajectory and power prices (at an all time high) continue to soar. Our indigenous population are still dying at alarming rates from very treatable and preventable conditions such as diabetes and our aged pensioners are treated with equal contempt. We have a less than impressive report card when it comes to homelessness, unemployment, suicide rates, environmental and human rights issues, poverty, deaths in custody, housing affordability and healthcare yet what happens as our nation continues along in crisis? Well, our elected representatives choose to ignore these issues and seize yet again upon another opportunity to demonstrate their indignant lack of grace with apocalyptic antics more cringe worthy than an episode of The Bachelor Australia!
While the Liberal party went about punching kittens and themselves, the Labor party trotted out snarky Little Back Door Bill and his handy side-kick Fibbersek. With the warring escalating among the Libs, Back Door Bill and Fibber-Mac-Fib-Face toured the nation handing out sample bags (he’s not known as Showbag Shorten for nothing) filled with just as many false promises of a fair go for all Australians as the Liberals once did. Cluster bombed with images of Bill and Fibber kissing babies, massaging the feet of Carmelite nuns and manically smiling while tucking into sausage sandwich’s – and why is it politicians always seem to grapple with the very simple act of consuming food – it was enough for any of us to wonder why we were ‘sweatin like a bag of cats at a greyhound meet’ because quite frankly, none of these pollies can get their shit together!
Due to a lower than low Judas act against one of their very own, it came down to a two rat race. As the rolfing continued under Labor Party policy, the two remaining Liberal party heavy weights simultaneously hatched more devious Janus faced plans all while applying a little acupressure of their own – apparently in the Liberal Party, acupressure is also known as bullying! Dutton, the scurrilous dirt-bag who opposed same sex marriage, who encouraged a boycott of the very long over-due apology to the Stolen Generation and a climate change skeptic along with Morrison, the evangelical conservative who also voted against same sex marriage and who opposed a banking royal commission were left to battle it out.
Ultra-conservative-far-right Scott, who happily claims to the creation of Lara Bingle with his backing of the ‘Where the bloody hell are you’ ad campaign, eventually won the leadership. He also lists his interests as ‘the church’ and please note. The Church he refers too should not be confused with that amazing indie/new wave Sydney band of the 80’s who produced the playlist of peoples’ lives with songs such as The Unguarded Moment and Under The Milky Way. I guess I missed the bit where his interests involve the welfare of the nation so it does beg the question, where the bloody hell are (is) Australia headed ScoMo!
Now if you thought another leadership spill wasn’t enough to further anoint us as a laughing stock on the worlds’ political stage, ScoMo’s first undertaking as Prime Minister was to invite Trump to our shores. Nice one! Actually, that was second thing he did. The first was to mansplain while pointing through the lens of a camera to deliver those well rehearsed words ‘we are on your side’ . He also declared former Prime Minister Turnbull to be ‘a dear friend’. Really! Like that shits going to fly so let me clamsplain it to you Scott because believe me, we have all had that ScoMo friend in our lives and asking us to think you are on our side does not instill confidence in you and nor does it fix our nations problems!
Australians are pretty weary with the rabble who inhabit Canberra and five Prime Ministers in five years should be a very sobering wakeup call to anyone. It would also be safe to say most of us are now more interested in whether Nick ‘The Honey Badger’ Cummins uses Redkins Curvaceous Ringlet Anti-frizz Curl Perfecting Lotion on his locks or whether he was referring to Julie Bishop when he said ‘You’re as tough as woodpecker lips’.
And just for the record, my hopes rested on the woman with one of the most fabulous earring collections of the nation rivaled only by Michael Hill himself. Julie Bishop, tough as woodpecker lips, would have been the perfect model of PM grace, decency and decorum not only because she has an impressive earring collection but because she bloody well deserved it. How was it the peoples choice was over looked as PM! Perhaps, like the sweetly natured Cass on Bachelor Australia, Julie was also cruelly and sorely duped by the master manipulators and bullies who surround her. I have a feeling however, their outcome is going to be no where near as bad as ours and if Australians aren’t ‘Sweatin’ like a gypsy with a mortgage’ then something is seriously wrong.
In a beautifully gracious moment, Julie Bishop resigns in killer red heels…….
This was never about our country and its people! This shambolic spill, despite decades of multiculturalism, an increasing presence of women and Indigenous people to politics and the rise of an egalitarian challenge was entirely about those segregating self-indulgent privileged male Anglos of a certain age looking after themselves and the bastardry they have created. And all said and done, if their actions over the past few weeks do not further highlight their discriminatory, ageist and sexist views of our ever evolving Australia, then nothing will.
Well Malcolm, you were correct to think Australians would be rightly appalled but we are also fed up because we know we and our country deserve so much better than we were handed last week. And is just me or does anyone else think replacing Malcolm with someone who is about as popular as a dose of herpes really the right thing to do!
‘Don’t worry Australia. I can bloody well sack them all’………..
Final snapshot of Georgetown Penang…….
Best travel tip: You can always warm a croissant with a hotel supplied hair dryer.
Best political tip: Educate yourself on all parties and make your vote count in the next federal election – 18 May 2019.
***Best tip for all refugees and asylum seekers: List occupation as Au Pair and list your advocate/referee as Gillon McLachlan.
Footnote – Quotes in blog post by Nick ‘The Honey Badger’ Cummins:
- sweatin’ like a bag of cats at a greyhound meet
- you’re as tough as woodpecker lips
- sweatin’ like a gypsy with a mortgage
8 thoughts on “The Honey Badger, ‘Where the bloody hell are’ we going and a final snapshot of Georgetown Penang……”
LOL! LMAO! Seriously BOOM girl. You nailed it. Nat
Thanks for your great comment Nat 🙂
Bravo ocean girl. This really spoke to me (I especially loved the tip for refugees and asylum seekers ❤❤) and I have a special quote for you which inspires me and it reminds me of you. It is by Maya Angelou who was an amazing American civil rights activist, writer and poet.
“SO USE THAT ANGER. YOU WRITE IT. YOU PAINT IT. YOU DANCE IT. YOU MARCH IT. YOU VOTE IT. YOU DO EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. YOU TALK IT. NEVER STOP TALKING IT”
With love, Lily Anders XX
Thank you for your lovely comment and for the very inspirational quote Lily. Have a wonderful weekend x
Oh so very well said👏👏. Couldn’t stop smiling and ‘air punching’ as I read your ‘Oh so needed to be said’ view of our latest Canberra embarrassment! Thanks for telling it like it is! As Nat mentioned, “you nailed it”!
We definitely (and desperately) need Julie Bishop with her good sense and intelligence, not to mention her traffic- stopping jewellery, to slip into the top job and clean up the mess!
Please Liz, come over to the colonies and sack all those backbiting, moronic schoolboys!
Lovely work again, Bid.
Just a post about a poor privileged Armani wearing white guy who longs to come across as everyone’s uber cool bogan buddy while pointing to his ‘I stopped the boats and Dutton’ trophies while desperately wanting to be acknowledged by his new bestie Gallen as the number one ‘Sharkies’ supporter. As if they haven’t suffered enough 🙂 Have a beautiful weekend x
Hello ocean girl 63. I just read of your entire list of stories. I started with the story about Nick, I think he did the right thing and I don’t care what they say about him, and kept going right back to the first story you wrote. My goodness you have done a lot in a little time. As I read more I wanted to read more which is how I ended up at the first story and I think I must have easily read about a hundred stories. Each story is so different. Some of your views I agree with and some I don’t. I take it from your last story you are a greenie or as my husband calls you a hippy tree hugger. Why I say you are a greenie is because you showed no leniency to either the Liberal or Labor party. I am happy with Scott. I think he was certainly the best candidate on the day and the rightful winner, and deserving of being our Prime minister. I don’t like Julie Bishop at all, I think she is a nasty woman so I will be interested to know if you have warmed to him yet as the rest of Australia has. I also thought some of your writing in your stories was beautiful and it was just like reading a book. Just the way you put things had me in tears but in the next story I was laughing so hard my sides were hurting. Your story about suicide made me cry for hours though. Our youngest boy took his life 19 years ago when this sort of thing wasn’t talked about but not a day goes by that we do not think of him. Even writing this to make makes me cry but that’s just how it goes sometimes. We have to get on with it. I am looking forward to reading more of your stories. Thank you for taking a moment to read this. Regards. Nanna Jean xox
Dearest Nanna Jean
Thank you for your beautiful comment and for having the courage to write of your son. How devastatingly heartbreaking for you and your family. I cannot begin and nor will I pretend to know how you must feel. I thought about you long after I read your comment and I wanted to reply earlier but I just didn’t really know what to say because to only say how sorry I was didn’t seem enough.
Well Nanna Jean, I have to agree with you regarding the Honey Badger 🙂 I really like Nick too. He comes across as being a genuinely nice man and I thoroughly respect his decision which was certainly not an easy one.
That said, I still have little to no respect for Scott! Sorry Nanna Jean but there is nothing that bumbling fool can say or do that will sway my opinion of him. And just for the record, I’m not a tree-hugging-greenie-hippy either and I still like Julie Bishop 😉
Take care and I hope your week is filled with love and wonderful sunny days……xx