Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap…..

As difficult as the following post will be to write, it will neatly tie up all of the loose and very frayed edges for those following the blog.  In the post ‘One story ends….’, October 21st, I wrote that ‘an awful lot has happened and a lot of awful has happened too’ and that I was bringing the blog full circile so here we go…..

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It is always so much easier to see the beginnings of something new as wonderful and exciting however it is far more difficult to witness its ending.  And as we have found, not all endings contain grace for they can be overwhelming, soul destroying and calamitous to say the very least.

I will get straight to the point as there is no way to sugar coat what has happened.  We were forced to leave the USA!  This devastating and harrowing decision was taken entirely from our control and it has absolutely destroyed us and our lives.  We were to be in the US for three years however we were only able to spend 18 very wonderful and amazing months there.

The most heartbreaking of all has not just been that we were only afforded three weeks initially in which to pack up our entire lives but devastatingly, we were forced to leave both of our beautiful companions (our cats whom we transported from Australia to the US) behind for 6 months.  For us, this was akin to a parent being compelled against their will to leave their children behind and I cannot ever imagine that any parent would willingly do so.

I have always believed that for every problem there was a solution but life sometimes just goes and shows you otherwise.  My belief was also too that everyone is and should always be in a position to make choices and decisions for themselves and no one, regardless of who they are, should be compelled to make a decision with regards to you which ultimately sets a course to purposefully destroy your life.   To have some level of care and understanding is what it means to be human when you are perpetrating situations such as this on another being.

The decision placed us under the most extreme stress and pressure and no leniency was shown.   I truly begged for consideration for both Gus and Zoe.  Nothing else mattered to me but the welfare of these two most innocent and dearest of souls but any request or suggestion of another solution was flippantly and sniggeringly  dismissed by conceit and arrogance. The time frame, the decision itself and the devastation of leaving behind our cats sat on the surface of our very being like an ugly spreading bruise.  Jesus Christ!  Did not one of those involved ever consider for a single moment that we were human beings and that it was near impossible to deal with all which was being dumped upon us.

In a daze of attempting to comprehend and fight this unlawful decision, we were overtaken by sheer exhaustion from lack of sleep and worry and it was difficult to even begin to grasp the magnitude of what was occurring.  Days slipped relentlessly by and in those days I seriously questioned the morality and the reasoning of those who chose to involve themselves in it.   Confronted with the impending disaster I focused on how unremarkable the circumstances were which had led to all of this.  And as mediocre as those conditions were, the unthinkable was still happening and pushing us along at breakneck speed.  There were no tradeoffs and there were certainly no winners and there is no other way to describe dealing with this entire process other than to say it was like hitting soup up a hill with a fucking cricket bat!

Any fight in which you find yourself should be fair and righteous but in all faith, I will honestly state, that as much as you cry, rage, suffer and try your very best to battle on, your dealings with some is not unlike scrapping with the dirtiest, meanest, lowest and most underhanded coward you will ever encounter in your entire life.

We staggered under the weight of sorrow and frustration at the decision to return us to Australia.   It all began on Thursday 28th of May 2015 however the plotting started long before that, possibly around January 2015!   The 28th was the day the decision was handed down and the fall out and the impact of it unbelievably continues to this very day.  It has felt as though there has been no hope and no possibility when doors are slammed shut and people refuse and continue to refuse to answer most, if not all of the questions which have been posed to them.   They have completely wiped their hands of any wrong doing and accountably, as is their usual exoneration to anything they are involved in, just as one would flick lint from the sleeve of a very good suit jacket.

Most  shattering of all has been that our beautiful and gentle boy Gus died a painful and very distressing death and we were not able to be there with him.  Our other dear little cat Zoe almost died too and was required to be removed from the cattery where we were forced to abandon them.  She was placed under constant veterinary care, had a feeding tube inserted and although her prognosis was very poor originally, she received the best possible care therein allowing her to thankfully recover slowly.  Once again, those involved did not and do not care and will not answer questions posed to them regarding any of this.  They have chosen to completely dismiss this of all things as though it has not even happened.  We were forced to leave two very health, happy and beautiful companions behind and one has died and the other suffered terribly also.  I make no bones about it when I state that the suffering, pain and distress both Gus and Zoe were forced to endure is heinous beyond measure!

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This is my favorite photo of Gus.  I loved him very much and I still miss him terribly…..

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The sweetest and dearest of little souls, Zoe….

When something of this magnitude happens it will make you weep from a very private place which has been pushed so deep inside yourself you will begin to believe that you are unable move forward.  We are not placed on this earth to judge people, to interfere and nor are we here to change or alter the lives of others for the worse.  We are not here to demand and implement the persecution of others just as we are not here to set our sights to destroy the lives and reputations of another single being.

And during all of this, I could not help but wonder if what bought most of it on was the fact that some do not like to see others succeed at life, at great and rewarding friendships and at happiness and enjoyment!  Seeking boundaries in a friendship should never become a punishment to anyone who requests the simplicity of that.

I have also discovered something quite unique about this whole situation and that is – if you wrestle a pig in mud two things are guaranteed to happen:

  1. You are both going to get very, very dirty and
  2. Only the bow legged pig will gain any delight, satisfaction and glee from the encounter!!

In writing this blog post I have thought very deeply about forgiveness and I acknowledge that I may never manage the grace to forgive what happened to Gus and Zoe.  Rationally, we all know that bad things happen to people all of the time.  Perhaps then, should we look at it as acceptance.  Accept that something terrible has happened, accept the fact of hurt, accept that it cannot be changed and accept that sometimes you cannot make sense of why things happen or why people behave they way they do.  We all suffer varying degrees through out our lives but what your grand sense of humility will be in all of this is how you decide to forge ahead.

I am also back living in America.  My return is solely to care for Zoe as she cannot be returned to a cattery and nor can she just be given to someone until she can be returned home to Australia in January 2016.

My bachelorette fridge.  I do however believe, I covered the five food groups…

My return to Georgia was met with a thin whine of hysteria cautioned by one or two which they seeped throughout the community and this settled in as a witness to the very dark side of what I now refer to as ‘The Great Georgia Freeze’!    Originally most of our friends and supporters welcomed me back saying they were ‘thrilled’ at my return however ‘undermining’ caused the severance of some ties and support.  For a while I thought I would die from the harrowing rejection however, I did not!  This is because I know I am far far braver and far more resilient than any of those still hell bent on the continued destruction of our lives and of our reputations.  I can tell you that shit like this is very very hard but it would be far harder if you let them drag you down to their level.

I will also admit I have never been more hauntingly alone in my life than I have been by being back here but I am so grateful and very thankful for their silences, for the cold shouldering, for the lies they have spread (and continue to spread) about us to those witless enough to listen and for the very obvious slights on social media.   I knew that if I allowed a single one of those terrible disappointments to strip me down that I would be doomed, but I was not about to let small acts of ugliness dictate how I coped and that act alone my friends, is mighty liberating indeed!   The succinct expression of grace that we know we hold and want to continue to hold on to will always be your best moral compass in any situation. I have also had a handful of wonderful, true and beautiful friends who have stood by me regardless and their courage to be themselves, to hold dear their integrity and values speaks volumes of the people they are.

So how does one salvage ones dignity and be not coerced to live in quiet sadness when human endurance is pushed beyond all limits and the quotidian of life is not easy.  The answer.  Time!  The fact that time will heal and in that time will slowly come forgiveness.   My memory is vast and alive and it holds in it many beautiful thoughts and images and I will not allow what has happened to continually ooze forward and destroy any of that. For all of the frustrations and challenges, it still is a beautiful life.   We all suffer and we all deal with things in varying degrees but regardless of all that, we all will survive in the end.  For me, my heartache for all that has happened is immense but my ability for my heart to continue to hold kindness and goodness is far bigger and I will still jump into life with both feet and with the greatest of intent.

Sometimes, as difficult as it is, you just need to keep moving forward even when it hurts like hell to do so for you wonder where do you go and what awaits you there.  Life can be hard and sometimes you view it as unfair but somewhere along the way you find a balm of soothing comfort and for me, that was arriving in the beautiful city of Newcastle New South Wales.  This most  beautiful of blessing, I could not have imagined earlier.

So I throw caution to the wind now when there was a time that I actually believed it to be so very bad that even Jesus would have thrown in the towel and I am so thankful for my endurance, for my beautiful friends who have not cowered and for my recognition of my appreciation of the fragility of life as you come to know it.

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My beautiful Newcastle, New South Wales….

Dirty deeds and underhanded dealings will always be done by some but it is how we choose to rise above them and what they do that truly counts in the end.  Hold very dear your dignity for that honor which you display safeguards your beauty of courage, your compassion and your self worth always xx

 

Footnote:  There is nothing disparaging, defamatory nor harmful in my post or my former posts for that matter.  I, as do many people in this world believe in and fully support the freedom of speech and expression.  Please understand that this blog is my platform and I will write what I think, what compels me and what inspires me.  If for some reason, you do not like what I say then you have the choice to not log on to my site.  It is very, very simple!  Other than that, if you still have an issue then please refer to the previous blog post.

69 thoughts on “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap…..

  1. Holy shit!!! You are fucking kidding!! This is unbelievable!! Snaps to you for being so fucking gracious in your writing about this. I am so sorry for what has happened. You are beauty and wonderment itself and do not ever forget that. Just remember oceangirl that karma is a bitch and it will bite them hard on the ass. Stay strong always and know the lord has your back girl xxx

    1. Thank you for your great comments Fango Dango, they are so appreciated. Some one told me early on when this terrible debacle began that I didn’t need to waste any of my time and energy on anger because those who have contributed to this must face their own karma which will be far worse. I am beginning to believe in that very good advice. Have a wonderful week xx

  2. Praise yes Fango Dango. I am heartbroken for you ‘oceangirl63’ and I cried for your dear cats but amazingly you still rise above it all with grace and poise. You are blessed and the world needs more people like you to speak up against the injustices. You go girl xx

  3. Oh man. My heart is absolutely breaking for you. What you wrote was so raw and honest and it broke my heart reading it. I cried for you and for what happened and for your beautiful cats. Above all, you still have that wonder and love for life. God, I wish I could be like that because this would have destroyed me. I am sure those who did this would never cope with what you have had done to you. You are amazing. xx. Go forth and be that beautiful light that illuminates this dark world. xx

    1. Thank you Luda for your inspiring comments. I believe you would cope if placed in a difficult situation because in what you wrote shows you have a beautiful and kind heart and that is half the battle xx

  4. I shall miss your amazing adventures and your delight for life in America. You have showed us an amazing journey and I hope that it continues. I love your blog and all that you write and even in this one that was so sad you still managed to make me smile at your cheekiness in your wording. Thinking of you and your family xx

    1. Rosie, thank you for your lovely comment and fear not, the blog will continue. We were heartbroken to leave the US but we had 18 wonderful and amazing months here and we made the absolute most of it. For that experience alone, we are so incredibly grateful xx

  5. “She was a beautiful girl who knew how to be happy when she was sad, and that is important”. That was said by Marilyn Munroe and I think it sums this up situation perfectly 😦 I am so very sorry for how you have been treated. Such horrible people know no better xx

  6. Your post created a blog melt down as I have been trying to leave a comment but could not get through. I have to say this to you oceangirl63 that the way you write you SHOULD BE WRITTING BOOKS!! You have this ability to put the most amazing sentences together and your writing is so great to read. I devour every blog you put up. Just because you left America and even though you are back for a short time please keep this coming!! I am so sorry for what happened to you but once again you handled it with such compassion and wit. Love the bit about wrestling the pig in mud….that made my night.

    1. Hello again Hero. Thank you so much for your great comment. Yes, the blog kind of went gang-busters for a while there and fear not, it will also continue. I long to one day have a book of my own published and I will always hold fast to that dream. So just like the lyrics in that wonderful Doris Day song…. ‘what will be will be’ xx

  7. This is just incredible. I cannot believe this was forced on you. I moved from Pennsylvania to Indiana and it took me FOUR months!! FOUR MONTHS PEOPLE!!! Just unbelievable. It is so awful how cruel people can be. Jealousy is a terrible, terrible thing. And your poor cats. That was so sad. My heart broke when I read about that and saw their gorgeous faces. It has been so hard for you to be so pushed out and even worse than that is how they are trying to make you feel. You know they are trying to break you but just like a beautiful wild horse you cannot and will not be tamed. They will get theirs. Have no doubt KARMA does not have a menu. It will serve up exactly what they deserve! You don’t have to do a thing beautiful XOXO

    1. Oh my gosh Iann, thank you so much for your lovely comments. They have been so inspiring. I hope you have settled in to Indiana beautifully. I see you have had quite a ‘white Christmas’…which is pretty wonderful. Yes, there have been some dark days indeed but I realise how rising about that and those who perpetrated them is a pretty great outcome xx

  8. Wow! I cried, I laughed, I raged, I scratched my head and I let out the biggest whooping cheer when you wrote “and that act alone my friends, is mighty liberating indeed!” As terrible as this has been, to live with those jealousies against you is far harder for them. Can you imagine what they must go through everyday when their minds are so full of hate and resentment and envy. The best form of winning is giving them your pity because to pity someone is the worst thing in the world. Holding a pity party for them right now xxx

    1. Thank you for your wonderful comments Lianna. I have, since reading you comment, tried to put myself in their shoes and I will confess they are not a comfortable fit (thank goodness!!). I hope you had cocktails at your pity party ;). Thank you again and have a beautiful week xx

  9. I have kept up with your blog from quite a while now and I have enjoyed it all so much and thank you for that. I have to say though that this is one of the best pieces you have written. It is tender but it comes from a place so deep in your soul that you have made me weep. Take great care oceangirl63 xx

  10. Oh my little ocean baby. I cannot believe this has happened to you. Breaks my heart to see this. Your poor Gus and Zoe, what could I ever say to you that could make it better. I think I speak for almost everyone when I say we all want to take the hurt away but once again, you show us what you are truly made of and you rise above it all with amazing grace and humanity and super oceangirl humor :). You are love and do not ever forget that. What you manage to do for people (and you don’t even know it) is amazing. Please let me know if I can do anything and I mean absolutely anything for you. Chin up sweet pea. Hope the ‘fat man’ is okay too. God, this must have just killed you both, it really is shit!! Remember, you are better and bigger than all of this put together. Your deserve a fucking craft beer my dear xxx

    1. My dear Jack the Lad. I can always count on you for saying the best things at just the right time. I truly thank you for all of the comments and support you have always shown me with this blog. I feel as though I know you somewhat and I have no doubt that one day our paths will cross. Your offer of assistance is so greatly appreciated and just hearing that makes even the darkest day sunnier. You really are one of the good guys of the world Jack and yes, I do deserve a beer so cheers to you always my friend xxx

  11. I don’t know what to say but I think Winnie the Pooh will say it best “You are braver than you believe. And stronger than you seem. And smarter than you think” xxoo

  12. So beautifully written and such beautiful cats. I don’t have a cat but I just hugged my dog Lucy, I cried and I told her how much I loved her. What you wrote put life in perspective. Thank you for having the courage to put your heart and your heartache out there.

    1. Thank you for your wonderful comment Cato. I guess sometimes something comes along and it makes us appreciate what we have just that little bit more. I hope you and Lucy had a wonderful Christmas. Have a great week xx

  13. Love your ‘bachelorette fridge’, that made me laugh and I am so glad you have found your magical place. Newcastle New South Wales looks amazing. I love Australia and I hope to get there one day but you are so far away.

    It must be so hard especially at this time of year not to be with loved ones and to be shunned but please know that you are not alone 🙂 I love that you wrote this all from your very heart. No one gets through life unscathed but sometimes when some people contribute to destroying it, it is not fair.

    I hope that you get another Gus, he looked like a great cat. I liked what you said about ‘gingerbread day’ on your Instagram site too and the other photos are great to. I hope you put more up.

    1. Thank you for your great comments Al. Yes, Gus was a wonderful cat. I know I will never be able to replace him but I am so lucky to have had such a wonderful time with him and that is something I will always treasure. Not a bad fridge is it and its not looking much better either I must admit 🙂 Yes, Newcastle is wonderful and I truly hope you make a trip down under one day. I can safely say that you would love Australia. Have a great week Al xx

  14. I have a suspicion of the department which has done this and this is their modus operandi. Deception and massive cover ups are their specialty!! Have a look at the sites like abc, the herald, the telegraph, and sbs. Just type in cover ups by….. There is a magnitude of information about what they get up to. Fight back because they really are piss fucking weak when push comes to shove!!!

    1. Thank you so much Ham Bone for your great and very supportive comments. I had previously looked at many sites and have been discouraged by what I have found. I have always believed that no one person or organization, regardless of how big and powerful you believe yourself to be, is ever above the law. Have a great week, stay cool as I see the temperatures are pretty scorching xx

  15. Hokey Nellie my girl. I had no idea about any of this. There’s me thinking you are swanning about having the time of your lives in America and all this has and has been going on. I am so very, very sorry. I am disappointed you are not back in SA but glad you will be in a great place for you. Stay strong and safe in the USA. Little Zoe is very lucky to have you but I know what a strong fighter you are. Hope your fridge is looking healthier to lovely but then again…life is short. Love you, take care always until we meet again Garth

    1. Hello my dear friend. Thank you so much for your amazing comments. I will get back to South Australia one day and I so look forward to seeing you there. I’m doing great as is Zoe. She is back to being her happy little cat self and I could not ask for anything more. The sacrifice to return, as difficult as it has been, has been worth that and more ten fold. I will admit my fridge does not look much better but I am managing to survive. Take care and have an amazing new year Garth xx

  16. I am so angry for all of this but my anger will not help you so I send you light, much love and many, many hugs oceagirl63 XXX

  17. For all of the heartbreak this was a lovely post oceangirl63 and it bought a tear to my eye. You write in a language that is lyrical and never stop being and doing and saying what you believe.

    Just so you know, people carve up the lives of others because they feel they have the right to do so when they absolutely do not but there is you carving your own path regardless. Do you know that those shallow and cruel people who have rejected you suffer daily because they want to be like you and they want to be you but they cannot so they set out to destroy you instead. It is human nature and human conditioning at its worst. I really am just bummed about all of this for you but there’s you forging ahead with a humor and grace which I love and respect. Also know that people are only as smart as they are educated and all of this just shows how mindless and dull these few are.

    Keep being a fierce writer and even fiercer woman x

    1. Thank you so much Elvie for your very inspiring comments. You have such a gift with how you wrote your observations. It was honest and so heart felt which is such a lovely trait to possess. I had struggled with trying to understand why those few did what they did and how they feel no remorse for their actions but you summed it up so perfectly. Thank you and have a beautiful week xx

  18. My anger finally gave way to sadness for you. How do people sleep at night when they do things like this??? It is bizarre that they can get away with any of this. How can people just not answer questions either??? Even the president is answerable to someone!!! I have travelled with you and I have enjoyed every moment of it so please do not stop writing your blog. What sort of cat was Gus?? He looked just gorgeous and your other little cat is so sweet. I guess if anything I will get to see Australia now so that is pretty awesome x

    1. Thank you so much Bridgette for your lovely comments. I am so glad that you have travelled this journey with me and I will continue to write my blog for as long as it continues to bring me much happiness. And yes, you will certainly get to see Australia now too.

      Our dear Gus was a British Shorthair. They are a wonderful companion as they are gentle and sweetly affectionate. Our other little cat Zoe is a domestic shorthair (a moggy also from a rescue shelter) and once gain we hit the jackpot with having a beautiful and sweet little companion. We have been so fortunate to have had them in our lives as what they have given us can never be repaid. The love of a cat is something quite wonderful. Take care and have a beautiful week xx

  19. oh yeah. they do this shit all of the time and get away with it. they think they are above the law and that no one can touch them. just look at how they treat what is happening in the Hunter Valley. it is just outrageous!!

    1. Great comments so thank you Bill. I read the Newcastle Herald stream daily while here in America and I have kept very much up to speed with what has been happening. Very sad indeed! Take care and have a very safe and happy festive season xx

  20. Social media sucks big time when people abuse it. They need to grow up and I bet they are all over 30!! Am I right!! I’m right!!

    1. Great comment and yes, social media certainly does that and more when inappropriately used Harry. It could be such a wonderful and valuable tool but like anything….in the wrong hands! And yes, you assumption was absolutely spot on 🙂 Have a brilliant week xx

  21. You will never get dragged down to their level oceangirl because their level is the lowest of the low and no one can go any lower than that! Yep, karma, fate, kismet call it what you will is going to sort them out big time! Sit back, re-energize, grab a good glass of red and enjoy the show 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for your great comment Maynard. I look forward to a time when all this is very much behind us and it will certainly be a time of celebration. I love and respect that some people can put so much faith in Karma and in the goodness of an honorable outcome. Have a fantastic week xx

  22. Dear Oceangirl.

    I have been compelled to write to you as this must be so terrible for you and I could feel your heartache in every word. I am so sorry for what happened to your beautiful cats too. Know that when men treat animals badly it is a very good sign of how they will treat their fellow man!

    I will say this to you – people who are very insecure and full of envy will always paint the most awful picture of another person. This is because they can then paint a perfect picture of themselves. They will also say the most terrible things in the hope that others will not see all of your goodness. The very good and real people will see your worth and they will not listen to the backstabbers. Those who have chosen to now align themselves with these people are not worth your time or energy. Let them go for they do not deserve your beautiful spirit in their lives. I could probably say too that these backstabbers have no doubt said the most terrible things about the ones they now control. That is the way of these people.

    What I love about you is that you do not wait for someone to bring you flowers you go out there and you plants amazing gardens for everyone to enjoy. Keep being you your wonderful self, take my virtual hug and send it forward into the world. Misha xx

    1. Dear Misha. I thank you so very much for your beautiful comments. I have read and re-read them several times over. Your observations of people and of situations is extraordinary. You were also very perceptive to see that those involved had previously shunned, talked about and had been outwardly unkind to those they have now befriended. I found this very difficult as I have always believed that you should stay true to yourself, be loyal regardless and that you should hold very dear your beliefs and values for they will always be your touchstone. I see that these alliance are only based on self preservation and to base a ‘friendship’ on that alone must be very despairing. I will continue to plant my beautiful garden and I sent your virtual hug onto another (who very sadly moved camp) but I am ever hopeful she felt it….. even in the smallest of ways. Thank you again and have a beautiful week xx

      1. Dear Oceangirl.

        Thank YOU for taking the time to reply to me and others on your site. That gesture is a mark of what you are made of and it also shows great respect. You know my dear, you have it all worked out. Not many people can rise above such a crushing blow but you have. Continue to be good to yourself by holding dear your values. These things above all else will serve you the best. These people do not value what is most important because they are full of fear and distrust and that is the worst thing you can ever encounter in friendships close or otherwise. They are in fear of being placed in the same position you have been put in and they know their weakness to not be able to rise above. Their lives will never be rewarding because they will continue along a path of self conscious doubt and sadness. Their self doubt is because they know deep down these people do not really care for them and they await their fate at being rejected and that will soon come to them also. Trust the universe to this. These false ties which have been formed will soon be severed as there is no substance or love associated with them.

        Life will reward you abundantly Oceangirl so let of all that does not matter to you go. Send them all love and then let them all go and the peace you feel from this one small act alone will be reward enough. It will be a beautiful way to start a brand new sparkling fresh year. I will always be looking for your garden, be blessed and continue to see love and take great care xxx

  23. Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi!!. Wohoo, love what our Aussie chicks are made of!!

  24. Thank you all so much for your wonderfully supportive messages and abundant kindness to this post. You gave your time to do so which is the most thoughtful and wonderful of gifts and it is so greatly appreciated. I will endeavor to reply to each of you so here goes. Have a beautiful and wonderful week xx

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